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Besan Wali Bhindi

Hey folks I want to explain that how and why I have become MIA otherwise meaning missing in action is because there has been a lot of bullshit and drama in my so called immidiate family. There are several which I deem unrelated and they were abusing my dad. My dad just recently passed away and he was a Korean war vet. I have talked a great deal about my dysfunctional family here in my blog especially in recipes that are popular in my family.

Actually my dad was a elder abuse victim which really pisses me off to think of it. The police are not trained to spot elder abuse and they should. It should and must be in their training also given the fact they have to do well-being checks on the elderly when so requsted and I did plenty. It started down here in Chicago and I called elder abuse hotline twice on them after hearing my dad went to his volunteering job at the VA hospital here in Chicago.

There were a few people involved who financially exploited a veteran which was my dad along with the phycholigical, emotional, verbal abuse and they even scared my dad in to submission. There was another called isolation. Now I heard he had dementia and this bullshit will bring it on in the elderly. Now three of them had a menage e trios going on. One of my dad’s abusesers was a dude and also they did something to my father’s cats. He had 3 cats and I offered to take his cats so he can walk away from there. One Veteren’s Day my dad came here and I made for him some dinner. He really enjoyed it. No my dad did not eat spicy food so i made him something else because he was a diabetic I was very careful about what I made him. I roasted some chicken with carrots and potatoes and I gave him a couple of pieces so his glucose levels don’t go soaring.

My social worker friend gave me a form for senior housning and my dad did not want to fill it out. I thanked her for it. Next thing you know these idiots moved my dad up to Wisconsin to get him away from me. Little did they know that I tracked him there and then one of his abusers was meddling in my phone conversations with my dad which is none of her damned business and I was speaking to my dad as usual in German. I then called adult protective services to launch a complaint that my dad is being abused twice and they never followed through. I kept the well-being checks coming and those idiots got nervous. One day the cop told my dad please call me. There was one nasty one telling me my dad does not want to talk to me and I totally went off. He had a gall to tell me this and it was not his damned place.

I blame them for my dad’s condition and his dealth and I will never ever forgive them for them doing this to my dad. My oldest daughter sides with people against me thanks to my asshole stepmom who died way before my dad did. Honestly I hate her guts very badly even though she is dead and I am glad she went before my dad. She was a career homewrecking hussy. I swear before Allah and everything else that is holy that I would not do anything to hurt my dad in any way.

My oldest daughter called me last week and told me my dad was in ICU. I was really upset again I did some tracking via the internet to find the hospitl where he was in. I called one in Beloit and they said they transfered him to VA hospital in Madison. I called that and first two nurces in ICU was really nasty. I pray Allah gives them all servere punishment and curse the very ground they walk on. One of my dad’s abusers died too and I pray he is in the bottom of hell for the roll he played in my dad’s abuse.

I finally got a chance to talk to my dad for the last time and he did not sound good at all. He said, “HELP ME.” His voice was raspy and the nurse told him who I am before he started to talk to me. Then next day I called the receptionist said there was a medical team working on my dad. Each time I went through the hospital admin on duty to talk to him. A day after my oldest daughter told me my dad was either dead or dying. Because of her high dramatics Mr. Riaz talked to her instead of me and I have gotten more upset. My youngest daughter was pissed off she got me all upset and for a good reason. I too have health problems. This is wierd because after this I started to spit up blood and wierder still that I did not feel any pain. I had myself checked out by my doctor and everything is ok Allhumsullah meaning thank God.

I found out my dad was in hospice in the hospital. Mr. Riaz, my oldest brother in law and I got in to the car and gps the hospital up in Madison, Wisconsin and seen my dad one final time before he passed away. When I seen him he was still and not moving. I saw the blood sucking leaches in there and immidieatly told them haraus which in German means get out.

They got out quick fast and a hurry. I told them they monopolized my father long enough and they had no right to be there and I have more right to be there then they. They called the popo on me not the hospital them bitches did it. They said it didn’t come from family and this is a lie. Then I was gaslit by one saying I was going to spit on my dad which is a BIG FAT WHOPPING LIE!!!!! I would never hurt my dad in such a way and these hags as my mom’s friend calls them was trying to stop me from getting closure.

I told one of the cops their mom broke up my parent’s marriage. He was very sympathetic and he too is from a dysfunctional family and really felt for me. Mr. Riaz, the cops and my oldest brother in law told them heifers off. They lost and I won. I got to see my dad. It traumatized me to see him this way. They do not give two shits about my dad other then him being their meal ticket. I sat at his bed and I said to him “hey dad” it is telling him what my name is and saying I am my mother’s bullheaded baby. I told him I love him and stroked his cheek, his very puffy eyes, his hair and I kissed his cheek. I could not hold back my tears and was crying before I got in there. I even tried to show my birth certificate that had his and my mom’s name on it along with my state ID and I was told they did not need that and they said I can go on before I got in there. I also told my dad I love him and and I forgive him.

Thank you Madison PD for believing me and letting me spend time with my dad. I even hugged one of the cops in front of Mr. Riaz and my oldest broher in law. After a few minutes later Mr. Riaz, my oldest brother in law and myself went back to Chicago. Later on at or about midnight the same day my dad passed away. My youngest daughter told me becausse she got some info. My grief knows no bounds and I feel extreme sadness and it turns in to extreme anger because of the damned bullshit and drama that my dad does not need. Before I left that morning I ended up saying fajr meaning early morning prayer. Ok This is the final topic of my dad and I have indeed forgiven him which isn’t easy but I did it because he was suffering way too much.

Now time for recipe because I had to vent first. For me loosing my dad is a catastrophic loss. My mom died when I was 22 and I also told the cop this and explained that I did not get a chance to see her before she passed away. I was busy taking care of Opa Jacobe because he had cancer. Sadder still is that I was not on speaking terms with my mom and it is tearing me up. My mother died 10 months after my Opa Jacobe. I had not really much time to grieve and I had a nervous breakdown. With my dad it is different that I am grieving and being allowed to do so.

In a mortar and pestle add 1 small piece of amchur, 1 pinch each of coriander seeds, cumin seeds, kalounji which are available at any Indian and Pakistani grocery store. Grind until it is a coarse powder. Add to bowl with 1 pinch each of pink salt, red chili powder, turmeric, 1/4 cup of besan then mix to combine. Add up to 1 oz of water a little at a time until it becomes a thick lump free batter.

Add the okra and stir until it is well coated, On high heat add 1/4 cup of either corn, canola or vegetable oil to a wok or cast iron skillet. Let it get hot and add 1 onion or shallot and 3 cloves of garlic minced, Cook until brown and then add the besan okra mixture and fry while occationaly stirring until it becomes slightly crispy. Enjoy with chapati and lassi.

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